my ex-wife can't my ex-wife contacted me out of the blue to tell me the man she cheated with and left me for mistreats her I'm 31 years old and my ex-wife Claire is 35 we got married when I turned 21 right after graduating from college our marriage lasted for five years and during that time I genuinely believed we were happy at least I was I worked in the IT field a job I still have to this day throughout our marriage we rarely fought and our sex life appeared to be satisfying however a few months before I discovered her affair Claire started growing distant the intimacy we once shared dwindled from daily to weekly and eventually it ceased altogether in the two weeks leading up to my confrontation with her one day I stumbled upon her phone which she had left open to a naked selfie she had sent to an unfamiliar number devastated I kept my composure and discreetly took photos of her phone using mine I uncovered her message stream with her boyfriend a guy from her gym whose membership I have been paying for rather than immediately confronting her I loved the text reveal the truth they expose their affair which had taken place in our bed while I was at work unknowing and betrayed silently I planned my next move I knew that the following Saturday she would be attending her supposed double yoga class which conveniently lasted 3 hours on that day I loaded my belongings into my car and left without a word I had already consulted with the divorce attorney so I knew I would be OK I was 25 without significant financial assets clear on the other hand had inherited around $200,000 from her late father giving her financial security I had no claim to that money nor did I believe I should the divorce papers were left for her to find on the kitchen table inevitably she bombarded my phone with apologies begging and pleading for forgiveness her friends even joined in leaving nasty messages accusing me of being a coward for not engaging with her I chose to ignore them all the only person I reached out to was the wife of Claire's affair partner as a result she promptly ended her relationship with him ironically Claire and her boyfriend got married just a few months after our divorce was finalized the only time I saw Claire again was in front of the judge during the finalization of our divorce she avoided looking at me keeping her head down she brought her gym boyfriend along who tried to appear tough as if he wanted to fight me I shook my head at him knowing he was getting what he paid for since then I've been on dates and had a few sexual encounters but I deliberately chose not to pursue long term relationships in many ways I'm still not completely over my past with Claire I no longer love her but I find it difficult to open up to anyone else I reconnected with friends I had neglected during my marriage since Claire disapproved of my friendships I found that Facebook is no longer necessary as I prefer face to face or phone conversations with those who truly matter to me apparently Claire had crafted A narrative portraying me as mentally abusive justifying her affair thankfully my parents and close associates saw through her lies however she tried to sell that story to my boss possibly seeking revenge for exposing her boyfriend's marriage ironically she defended his marriage while his newfound bachelorhood turned her into a relatively honest woman when I showed my boss the text where Claire pleaded for mercy admitted to her affair and praised me as a good husband he expressed his sympathy and granted me two weeks of paid leave to recover Fast forward six years and I'm still single working in the same field at the same company however I'm earning more and doing well for myself I have my own apartment savings of 401K a car and overall I'm content I live life on my terms answer to no one and have no desire to make a down payment on the House I'm happy where I am but just last week Claire started texting me again I never bothered blocking her number as there seemed to be no need she had stopped trying to contact me after the initial flurry of messages begging me not to divorce her and insisting her affair partner meant nothing to her at first her messages were friendly reminiscing about old times and asking how I was doing she acknowledged her mistakes and asked if she could call me she attempted to call me multiple times but I ignored her calls and messages Claire's Bone shifted as she expressed how much she missed me and how I've been the only man who treated her well then she began sharing details of how her affair partner was mistreating her seeking my sympathy I had no intention of ever contacting her again so I texted a mutual acquaintance someone who had once criticized me but whom I still had some connection with to inform them about Claire's claims I asked them to contact the appropriate authorities if her allegations were true since I had no interest in getting involved personally perhaps her friends would care even if I didn't I confess my message was filled with hateful words but it was my way of establishing boundaries looking back it's evident that I do still care even if I chose not to directly engage suspect Claire is attempting to manipulate the old version of me the kind and compassionate person I used to be in the past I would have rushed to her aid and offered a shoulder to cry on but not anymore the mutual acquaintance responded with accusations labeling me as an evil person at a monster I probably told them to go screw themselves and block them for the first time in ages I logged into Facebook as expected none of the friends I once considered close had ever reached out to comfort or support me when I was first betrayed and going through the divorce on the other hand many of Claire's friends bombarded me with messages claiming they have been right to support her because I had supposedly abandoned her in her time of need it's utterly baffling I'm her ex-husband someone she cheated on if they were aware of the alleged misconduct on her affair partner's part as her friends shouldn't they be doing something about it I'm just a guy she used to know someone she heard the abuse from her friends continued until I decided to take a different approach I took screenshots of all the recent and past texts she had sent me since my number hadn't changed and I never delete anything and decided to stop taking the High Road on social media I plastered their feeds with her texts where she begged for my forgiveness admitted to cheating and pleaded for another chance finally they left me alone Claire continues to text me accusing me of never loving her and labeling me as an evil person I haven't replied and in a twisted way I find solace in the closure I've believed so Claire if you happen to read this leave me alone move on with your life and let me live mine in peace
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